Day 4: Restless, Irritable, and Discontent
- Apr 4th, 2012 at 2:42PM
Yesterday was not pretty. The headspace was singing the blues, my temper was on a low grade burn, and it was nearly impossible to sit still at work. I paced back and fro from the pantry at work, grabbing a couple of unfulfilling grapes at a time. Half portions are going fine. I wasn't hungry at all, so I can't blame it on hunger.
Rather, I was irritable that I couldn't eat my usual volume of food. I miss the act of eating and how much and how often I did it. It is becoming ever more clear how I use food to placate my sense of boredom and life/ work annoyances. And without all the snacks and that heavy sedated feeling of food coma that has become a comforting friend, I am having to deal with what's in front of me. Like a real adult. Imagine that. No surprise I was restless, irritable, and discontent. An (unhealthy) coping mechanism is being unlearned and left behind. Like the piles of ill-fitting clothes that will be too big for me in eighty-something days.
So yea, yesterday was not a good day in terms of feelings, but whatever! Feelings schmeelings. I went straight home after work, had a coaching call, and straight to bed. Got in 9 hours of bliss. AWESOME. I know this phase will pass, and it's healthier mentally and physically not to have a food crutch.
Since it's a holiday here in HK, I was able to do the exercises with The Boyfriend today. It was good to have him check my form. I knew I was doing the squats and lunges incorrectly (they were too easy) even though I watched Patrick's videos quite a few times (does anyone else love the music that he uses for the videos??). Push ups are still tough, but think I can push myself even lower tomorrow. Skips are the same-same, managing 40 at a time. Think I can ramp up the speed just the tiniest tiny bit. Loved today's training message! It makes so much sense, and now I really understand the mechanics of why I got bigger after each deprivation diet.
My neck and shoulders are achy, but nothing new here- will just have to tough it out until I see my two miracle ladies 1) my favorite masseuse Linda (She's strong like an ox, but with soft hands) and osteopath, Audry.
Onward and Upward!