Cece Aiello

Cece Aiello

Kenzai Mind | Day 17 (Member)
Trainer
Kenzai Mind
Day 17
 
Program progress:

The day that I've been looking towards for the past 2 weeks finally arrived.  I've been looking forward to day 60 so I can  weigh myself and quantify my "achievements" so far.  My last weigh-in was on day 30, where I lost around 7-9 lbs (3-4 kg).  Today, I stepped on the scale with great anticipation.....

I LOST ONE KG.  Two and a half pounds.  In the 30 days of apple dinners, strict eating plan, and daily workouts... I've lost 2.5 pounds.  Needless to say, today's training message was very timely!

I can do 40 push ups!  I can skip for 20 minutes without stopping (minus my trips).  My clothes are looser, my work pants are hanging on by my hip bones.  My skin is the best it has been in ages and I get loads of compliments.  So what's the problem?  I was stuck on a number.

I just could not wrap my head around the fact that I've lost only ONE kg!  How is that even possible?

Good thing I didn't have to figure it out all myself.  I asked Patrick.  

Being the wise man that he is explained the difference between weight loss and fat loss.  I needed to hear this today.  

I'm probably going to butcher this completely but I felt loads better after I talked to Patrick.  So basically our diets are put together to maximize fat loss, not weight loss. The fact that my clothes are looser indicates fat loss.  The minimal weight loss means I've gained muscles.  Every ounce of muscle gained means free calories.  

So my interpretation is that I'm basically a Fat Burning Muscle Machine now.  Cool.  I'm over the disappointment of only losing 1 kg in the last 30 days.  Over all from Day 1, I'm still down 9.5-11.5 lbs (4-5 kg).  Whatever, I'm still going to keep working hard and (fingers crossed) on day 90, I'm going to be in my peak condition.  Hopefully a few more pounds lighter!

Exercises done for the day, yippy!  Won't be able to do double skips tonight, but should be able to fit it in tomorrow.  


Day 59

Man my planks were awful yesterday.  Couldn't make it to 60 secs on any of the reps!  I failed between 30-40 seconds.  I even added an extra one just to show myself that if I try really, really hard and turn the damn music off, I can make it to a minute, but to no avail.  Fail after 30.  What the heck?  I've been feeling proud of my planking skills.  hubris hubris!

Some weeks I'm able to pop out the push ups all grown-up style, others I'm on knees after the 2nd set.  This was a good week for push ups.  And am switching to my harder band (blue, medium strength) for the standing o's, some of the biceps work, and all the back exercises (finally felt something after-the-fact with the rowing a few days ago).  

Been squeezing in double skips whenever I can, not every day, but definitely every other day.  The same with 8 minute abs.  

Some days my skips are awesome, others not so much.  It's at about a 1:1 ratio.  

Workout schedule has been a bit all over the map, which I know isn't ideal, but work/ life dictates such matters for the time being.   Exercising after work tonight and have to get up early to do it again in the am tomorrow.  Gulp. Here we go.

Think I read some folks were talking about poor sleep last week.  Well I'm there!  Have gotten lousy subpar less than 8 hours of sleep even though I'm in bed by 10.  My thoughts bounce around a million miles an hour in my head while my body lays there tired and sore.  This continues to about 1 in the morning.  And hence, my workouts get moved to the evening.

Diet is going fine, can't believe how much stress this PCP cooking prep use to cause me.  I guess it's because I've simplified my diet a lot.  I always have some baby carrots, cherry tomatoes, and another vegetable on hand for my breakfast and evening veg portion.  For lunch I have salad ready goodies stocked in the fridge or I run out and grab some from the fancy salad spots, hold the dressing please!  For protein, I've been grabbing salmon sashimi (cut down to only 2x a week) and roasted chicken breast from Olivers (no skin!).  For carbs, I've been digging the whole wheat pita.  I switched it up with white rice one day, and really noticed a drop in my energy and spike in my hunger about mid way through the afternoon.  Mr. Avocado shows his pretty green face 2-3 times a week, and always a highlight of my day.  

I had to grab lunch at the salad bar from Simply Life one day for work and I was horrified by how salty/ sweet/ over dressed all the veggies tasted.  I still harbor some guilt/ self blame from this.   

My week 9 picture is up, honestly I don't notice a difference at all!!!! in fact, last week's picture looks better!  drats.  I feel like I've been working hard and sticking to the diet.  my worst nightmare is to realize on day 89 that I've been accidentally drinking really fatty milk or whole fat yogurt this entire time despite what the label says.  (To be fair, HK labels are confusing.)  

BUT... the compliments are still rolling in, so I'm just going to chalk up the picture to bad angle/ lighting.  A buddy who hasn't seen me in a week or two commented, "You've really a lost a lot of weight, it's very noticeable.  What have you been doing?"  Music to my ears.  Well buddy, let me tell you all about it... 3 simple letters P-C-P.

Day 60 weigh in tomorrow, 2nd time I will be stepping on the scale since the start of the program.  Nervous, excited, all those things.  But I know I have to get my new pants taken in and the suit jacket looks boxy on me because it's so loose.  I got the work clothes about 2-3 weeks ago.  CRAZY.  


Oops I did it again, I played with your heart, got lost in the game.. oh wait, no that's not it. 

I fricking hurt my ankle again.  Right ankle this time.  Thank god (last time it was the left) This is what happens when I wear heels.  Wedges actually.  I got hypnotized by the sound of my own click-clack footsteps and the next thing I know I've fallen and can't get up.  It happened in the bread section of Olivers Supermarket yesterday.  During peak lunch hour.  Loaves of bread went flying and I was on the floor.  A wee bit embarrassing...

This happened yesterday, and it hurt a lot more than my last ankle debacle.  So on went the ankle support and ice and heat compress last night.  I was not nearly so stressed out this time.  Just a minor bump.  Nothing a few good nights sleep and solid PCP diet can't fix.

And I was right.  Ankle felt enormously better after a solid 7.75 hours sleep, but am still limping a bit.  

I'm saving my exercises for later tonight (instead of doing them first thing in the am) and have stayed off the foot for the most part today.  Worked from home instead of going in the office.  Verdict is still out on skips.   

Loving how my clothes are looser now!  Hope I can lose the double chin by program's end.  

Love & peace y'all.  


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When I look down at my tummy, I get despondent, very despondent.  But when I look at my week 8 picture, even I have to admit I can see an improvement.  And I'm like, damn girl, nice going.  Keep it up. 

 Just hope the remainder time is enough to blast off the rest of the fat.  I'm getting nervous that time is running out, I can't believe we are almost approaching the last third of the program!  I have Sarah's quote about making it to peak condition, one meal, one workout, one day at a time running on repeat in my head right now.  I'm really going to try to make each day, each work out, each meal count for the next 38 days.  

I vacillate between going full-on and that soft gentle voice saying, maybe it's time I "manage my expectations" about the state of my tummy on day 90.  I've never exercised a day in my life before PCP and on Day 1, I stood 5"8 and carried 152 lbs and nearly 32% body fat, and an extended tummy filled with/ surrounded by visceral/ subcutaneous/ bacon fat.  How realistic is it that I shed most of the fat so that a flat tummy shines through in 90 days?  

I don't know.

But I tell you this, if a flat (or semi-flattish) tummy is achieved, I will post my own Jennifer Aniston Smart Water spoof.  I've been practicing, and jeez, her pose is the most unnatural, awkward position ever!!!  That hand over the head, it's just hilarious.  

Food

I find myself questioning my food choices a lot. 

I've made some poor food choices, some accidental (Bulla anyone?) and some not so accidental.
- I've only been eating whole wheat pita and bread only as my carbs (not mixing it up with brown rice or pasta).  
- I've only been able to eat salmon sashimi as my main fish source (about 3x a week). 
- I eat avocados 2-3x a week.  
- Eating whole-fat yogurt yesterday because I couldn't find low-fat.  Why didn't I just drink low-fat milk?  I don't know.  

The culmination of these choices... I see it on my tummy.  Aside from the over-indulgences, I haven't strayed from the proscribed PCP diet (no beef, pork, fried oily food, salt, blah blah blah stayed within my grams for each food group) but I think I can make even better PCP food choices.  

So I've been trying to cut off more fat... instead of my morning egg/ vegetable scramble, I've been eating the vegetables raw.  Same as my evening snack.  Maybe I'll eat oatmeal in the morning instead of toast (sad face).  

I'm curious, what is everyone else eating everyday for their protein?  I'm really sick of oven-roasted chicken breast and I want to eat less salmon sashimi, what else is left?  (the tuna sashimi here looks unnaturally artificially red, yuck)  

Exercises

- Can't find a proper pull up bar anywhere near my house so I'm making do at the park with this ladder/ bar thing.  It's a little shady and I'm scared that I'm going to yank the bars loose with my body weight and "fall" to my death.. or broken bones. Could not do the kung fu sit ups today at all!  I don't have a peace of mind about the "equipment" and it was hurting in my quads out of all places.  Couldn't do more than 2 reps!  

I supplemented the kung foo's with an extra set of 25 crunches and what was supposed to be 4-60 sec planks (I only made it to 2 sets).  Will do the 8 minute abs later today.  Not sure if that makes up for it but alas.

- Skips, still fun.  I love my 4 song playlists.  

- Bought an extra band finally!  The last set I ordered from the US never made it, lost at sea.   

  


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Public Service Announcement:

I feel it is my duty to inform the general Cerite public to disregard my previous endorsement of Bulla Lite and Healthy.  As a fellow team member so helpfully pointed out, the stuff is loaded with liquid sugar and comes more than 30+ calories than other lowfat yogurt (Thank you Pam!!!!! You saved me from liquid sugar thighs. You got my back, I got yours yo!).  So please only ingest this yogurty crack at your own risk.  I am also much more adamant


about reading the ingredients label now.  Sigh.  I will miss you Bulla, but I’m still naming my first born after you.

So onward…  let me tell you about how my indulgence went awry.     


I love mustard.  I love mustard so much I dressed up as Ms. French’s Mustard in 2007.  But one mustard I do not like is English Mustard.  And what did I do yesterday during my indulgence lunch?  Accidentally slobber English mustard all over my delicious cheddar cheeseburger.  No amount of napkin could remove the dreadful aftertaste of English mustard from the burger.  Yuckity yuck yuck.  It sorta ruined the burger for me.  But I still ate my entire


half of it. 

Manfriend and I split the bacon cheddar burger and Caesar salad.  I also had a coke zero that cost an arm and a leg.  It was all very good except for the mustard disaster.  Salad was bit salty and so rich with the


dressing.  The restaurant served some free hot fresh cheesy bread with chive cream cheese perhaps in an effort to make the bread even more delicious.  I of course had to try some, and let me tell you, hot cheesy bread needs no cream cheese to make it more delicious!  It was a silly pairing.   

So after the coke zero, burger, Caesar salad, hot cheesy bread extravaganza (oh alright and a few fries), I proceeded to polish off a mini Lusty Banana (think Banoffie pie minus the biscuit crumbles) AND a Melting Moments mini strawberry sponge cake all by myself.  I was done with sharing my food.  And in my haste to not share, I forgot to take pictures of these beautiful little delights.  But you can check them out here at the bakery’s website:  http://www.msbscakery.hk/msbs_signature_cakes.html  Sean had the “Better than Sex.”  No comment.


But oh, the indulgence didn’t end there.  It should have, but it didn’t.  I was already very,


very full and uncomfortable from all that food and sugar.  I hadn’t felt
quite like this in about 50 days. 

I then had a few Skittles (I don’t even like skittles) and a chocolate covered flakey cookie crumble. 


Sigh.  I wanted everything. 

So what did I learn aside from the fact that once I get going it’s hard to stop?  That my body doesn’t digest this kind of crap “as well” as it did before.  I felt so sluggish and low energy (and shame from being so greedy) with all that food


sitting undigested in me.  Nothing was moving, nary a braincell.  All I could do was drag myself home and fall heavy in bed for a full 2 hours and catch up on NYTimes Modern Love columns.  This was a frequent
occurrence pre-PCP. 

Finally by early evening, 4 hours after the burger and dessert, I felt digested enough to pull myself out of bed, in anticipation of doing my skips.  FOUR HOURS.  This was so different from the quick lightening round 90 minute cycles I grew accustomed to on PCP. 

TGFS (Thank God For Skips!)  I had switched around my Saturday and Sunday’s exercises so all I had to do were the skips on Sunday.  It was invigorating doing my skips, I could feel the energy coming back and staring at Jennifer Aniston’s


abs in the ad below was pretty motivating as I skipped.  I sang along with Billy Joel’s “We didn’t Start the Fire.”  It was so rock n roll and I had great energy for the rest of the night.  Ate my apple and egg white and left it at that for the day. 

I’m back on PCP today and it feels really good.  Did my exercises before work… took me 75 minutes from warm up to abs.  I wonder if this is slow?  


To be honest, even before yesterday’s slip, I’ve been feeling impossible that I will be posting


similar ab-tastic results that the Blaze ladies are showing.  Maybe this is what some of them felt too but I compare my week 7 pictures to theirs, it’s an uphill battle.  I guess maybe I should be realistic with my expectations, I did start with a high percentage body fat?  

 


Anna, you're not alone in your leg cramp agony anymore.  I had leg cramps yesterday when I was reaching up on my tippy toes for the kung fu sit ups.  So weird as I thought I was fairly warmed up and stretched before/ after jump rope.  I immediately stretched again and massaged the muscle, and was able to complete the remainder abs work outs and the cool down stretch.  (I LOVE STRETCHING.  I pretend I'm a ballerina and/or a cat.)  

But stupid me, later that night, when I was demonstrating to Sean how my leg cramped up when I stand on my tippy tippy toes like THIS, it of course cramped up AGAIN.  Oops.  Guess I should have learned my lesson.  I tried to roll it out with my foam roller (ouchy ouchy!) and did the stretch Patrick recommended.   

I couldn't fall asleep last night, and once I did, it was a restless sleep where I woke up at 2 am.  Being awake at 2 am with remnants of a leg cramp is not a good place to be.  I couldn't think clearly and I was overtaken with the fear that my leg would cramp up again if I didn't immediately eat a banana.  Like right then.  I was hungry, I was tired, and my leg hurt.  I succumbed to the banana and a small glass of milk in the middle of the night.  Deviation from PCP diet!  

Well lest you worry that I was going to bed with a bellyful of fructose, rest assured that insomnia was my spiteful mistress for another couple of hours after that.  

Still feeling sore/ tender in my leg so decided to wait on my skips until after work today along with the rest of the workout.  We'll see how that goes... got such a crappy rest last night.  Have not been loving doing the split workouts, but it works best with my schedule.  I've noticed that I have a harder time falling asleep which is probably because of all that adrenaline/ hormone swooshing inside my body.  

I am really getting to love that adrenaline though!  I was wound up pretty tight and just in a bit of a mood before my workout yesterday, and afterward, I just felt so good!  The same problems didn't seem nearly as dire.  It was such an awesome shift in perspective and I loved the world.  Weird.  

Feeling inspired from a recent blog over in the Blaze group- Claudia K's.  I know more results are coming our way ladies!!! My pictures are not necessarily showing the dramatic changes I want to see yet, but I know something is coming.  My "fitted" (tight) high-waisted skirt is now sitting loose at mid-waist, high-waisted no more.  My shirts won't stay tucked in anymore. Oh, luxury problems!  I'm also fitting into this pair of size 8 Lululemon workout pants that I have never ever worn before because it was too small.  Small wins paving the way to peak condition.   

 


Day 45!!

Work is pretty cray-cray this week with the founding partner of the firm in town, so for the first time ever I will be introducing the split workout routine into my schedule.  Just couldn't bear the thought of getting up earlier than 6 am to get everything done.  Did my skips and 8 minute abs and will do the rest after work today.  

Diet is going fine, though I had a terrible horrible no good very boring salad yesterday for lunch.  I made up for that by having some delicious potatoes for evening snack.  I boiled the sucker, than mashed it up with my spoon and a wee drop of milk and some chives.  It was so delicious, even a little sweet.      

Going strong, but after the bland bitter lunch yesterday, I was seriously craving some richness and flavor.  Was at the supermarket and the dizzying array of pre-cooked and packaged food was almost too much!  I think the lesson for me is, I like PCP food when it's good, but I'm more likely to crave temptations when I eat too many bland/ bitter/ raw vegetables in a row.  I guess back to the kitchen I go!

Today's karaoke skipping playlist was all Gaga.  Yesterday I had some Kelly Clarkson and Glee.  Fun fun! 


Day 43

I wanted to cry on that first set of lunges knowing there was 3 more ahead of me.  Push ups were back down on my knees after the first set (noticed how I skipped over the chest dips?  they're still barely happening).  Shoulder presses... wow, I was almost was in tears by the 3rd set.  Like really.  Damn, I'm not proud of this, but I have a feeling I will be crying at some point during the PCP workout before it ends.  And I really don't cry that much.  It was sooo tough, but am glad I got through it!  

Oh and skips was fun!  It's so great not to have to count.  It was the karaoke No Doubt edition, I'm sure people thought I was a little nuts.  If only I could skip as fast as the ska beat... one day!  I think tomorrow will be a Bon Jovi/ Journey kind of day.  

And here's me trying to write shorter blog entries!  


Oh ye of Stretching Stretchers- I need your wisdom.  

The upper side of my thighs (are they still considered quads?), the part that wraps around to the hamstrings in the back, are getting a really good workout from the pistols squats.  

But I seriously need to do some stretching here.  I've been doing all the stretch moves on that handy PCP sheet, but nothing is quite hitting the side of my thighs where the burn is.  

Can anyone recommend some stretch moves?  

On a related note, I'm in a fantastic mood.  Maybe because I know tomorrow is a rest day?  I know it's only 10 am, but hope it holds!  


Day 40!!
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I have to stop wearing shorts when I exercise outside.  But it's so HOT even at 6 am that I can't bear the thought of wearing pants.  But oh, the mosquitos are out in full force.  I'm covered in bug bites from the 35 days of exercising outside (I used the hotel gym when I was in China).  This morning was especially heinous- 9 fresh itchy welty bites on my legs.  At least I got two of those blood suckers mid feast.  SPLAT! SPLAT!  Good riddance.  

There was a trainer and two trainees also at the playground this morning.  When I opened my eyes midset during shoulder raises (I accidentally switched around my day 39 and 40 exercises and hence the shoulder raises today), I found all 3 staring at me.  The trainer, a little skeptically.  I guess after the creeps, they just had to see what I was doing.  And sad to say, by that point, my form was pretty shoddy.  I felt a little self conscious.  There was no PCP representin'. 

Waking up at 6 am everyday is really putting a damper on my social life.  I was over at a friend's house last night with a whole lot of people and I just couldn't be that present by 9 pm- I was so tired!   Plus watching them eat Paisino's Pizza two weeks in a row is making me yearn for some Grimaldi's Pizza in NYC.  I had to leave early for my buff sleep, thank goodness I was in bed by 10:15.  I've always gotten to bed at a reasonable time since starting PCP, but I've been struggling to fall asleep (10,000 things racing through my head, many of them blog entries) but recently I've been zonking out as soon as my head hits the pillow.  I guess that's what happens when we're working our bodies hard.  

I almost went back to bed after my alarm went off this morning, I reasoned that I could have done my workouts in the evening.  But I knew that was just my body trying to lay a fast one on me.  Onward I went to a mediocre workout.  I squeezed in the 8 minute abs too but I had a hard time keeping up- my neck got sooo tired.  

The diet is going well, I'm so impressed by you all who have work functions/ business meetings.  That takes tremendous discipline and self control!  And it makes me work harder on my diet because I get to have the luxury of just taking it easy and eating at home.  So I'm trying to do that well.  

Some general observations:

- My skips are still so terrible.  22 minutes to finish.  I've been trying to go faster which results in me tripping after every 10 skips.  This is deplorable.  But I guess as long as it's getting the job done, I should be happy.  I'm just not convinced that I'm burning the same amount of fat as someone who is finishing their skips in 12 minutes (what a feat!).  I guess this is stemming from the fear that my slow skips is going to negatively impact my PCP outcome because I'm not burning as much fat as I could/ should be.  

- Once upon a time, I had soft hands that betrayed a spoiled privileged upbringing that saw neither a day of dish washing nor house cleaning.  That time has passed.  My hands are now drier and rougher from all the PCP cooking and cleaning I'm doing in the kitchen.  A good man will look at my hands and know that I am a woman who knows her way around the kitchen.  Ha!  We'll see, maybe by day 90.  As of right now, I'm still a kitchen neophyte- the opposite of efficient or effective.  I seem to have a knack for using as many bowls and utensils for a single meal as humanely possible.  So I'm getting very good at washing a lot of dishes.     

- On my first day of having yogurt on my diet, I was a little nervous.  I didn't know if I could handle plain yogurt so I decided to be a little creative and see if I could cook with it.  Well friends, let me tell you this- yogurt and scramble eggs do not mix.  Literally.  Since adding milk to my scramble eggs made it yummy, I reasoned that adding yogurt (which is like Super Milk) would make it even yummier.  WRONG.  I created this gross lumpy jello-y concoction that refused to solidify on the pan.  I had to throw it out and start over.  Since then I've been eating my plain yogurt as I cook my breakfast in the morning.  It turns out I like plain yogurt just fine.  In fact...

- New obsession:  Bulla Lite & Healthy Plain Yogurt.  This is soooooooo, so, good.  It's a little tangy and not as thick as the other low fat yogurt I was eating.  I can't believe it's 99% fat free.  It's so good I crave it all day long and I can't wait for my yogurt every morning.  I seriously want to swap out all of my milk portion for this Bulla Lite stuff.  But I won't.  I read about this PCP crack on a blog in the Blaze group so snatched some up yesterday when I was at the super market.  Best decision.  

- Inclined pull ups- still totally hopeless.

- Quads talk to me everyday about how the pistol squats are killing them especially when I go up and down stairs throughout my day.  

-  Calves remain ominously silent despite all the the creeping and floor jumping.  I wonder why.  

- I want the layer of blubber encasing me to melt away.  Please go away!
  
We're entering PCP valley guys, hopefully we won't be there for the next 40 days.  But we'll probably be stronger for it.  Leaner for sure.  That's what happens when you spend 40 days in the desert- stripping it down to the essence, overcoming temptations, and showing the world who you really are. 


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I'm a perfectionist apparently.  

This is what it's called when day in, day out after each workout, I think to myself, "Hmmph, I could have done better."  

This idea of "better" gets me into trouble.  It usually relates to pushing myself harder, going deeper, adding more reps, being more focused, having better form... you get the idea.  (Interestingly, tripping less doesn't make it to my mental list of what I could do better each day.  There's no Try Harder on Not Tripping.  There's only, Not Tripping.)

I never get to stay in the Post-Workout-Gloat very long, that voice inevitably creeps up and says, "Meh, You could have went even harder."  That voice is soo annoying.   And tiresome.  She's totally holding me back.   She purports to be a Truth Teller but nay, I tell you she is not!  

I somehow made it through 30 years of my life thinking I was anything but a perfectionist.  I'm not a perfectionist, I'm disorganized!  And a little bit messy!  Perfectionists are not messy.  

Or so I thought.  After Sean pointed out my perfectionist tendencies, I think this simple word captures it pretty well.  And it came courtesy of PCP on Day 38.  I knew I had a tendency to be self-critical (or self aware, depending on the day) but it wasn't until today that it became so crystal clear that I'm always falling short because I've set the bar at the State of Perfection.  

WHICH FRICKING DOESN'T EVEN EXIST.   

Yes I know it's probably this very drive that's helped me obtain certain external recognitions but I'm sort of tired of the internal lacerations from the lashes of You Could Do Better.  My special activity is "Balance"- so I would like some balance.  And let's start with balance in how I view my PCP performance.  

No I really could not have gone lower on my pistol squat.  I did the best I could.  I think.  

So what am I going to do about this annoying streak of perfectionism?  I tried some Stuart Smalley positive reinforcement today, instead of dropping agitated F-bombs after each 3rd or 4th set per my usual standard, I got super peppy and said OUT LOUD to myself, "Good Job! That was awesome!"  

It was super cheesy but it was a change.  A positive change.  I'm going to try this for a few days and see how it goes, you know what they say- practice makes... progress!  

Diet
- Had a wonderful PCP lunch.  Got a salad from the over priced salad spot (loaded with fresh jalapenos, corn, mushrooms, hearts of palm, and cherry tomatoes.  a splash of olive oil and lemon juice for dressing).  Topped with 6 salmon sashimi slices from the over priced supermarket.  3 pieces of toast.  Delightful!
- Apple smoothies sans banana, not so delightful.  Oh banana, how I miss thee.  
- Been solely relying on wheat toast as my carb for the past 2 weeks, been trying to mix it up with some brown rice, but like the training message predicted, I love my 3 pieces of toast versus little blob of rice.  

Exercises
- Skips were terrible this morning, tripping every 10-20 skips. I think my longest stretch was around 50.  
- chest dips, still no go.  I found these hip height parallel bars, but discovered they were spaced too far apart once I tried it out.  drats.  
- I can do 40 real push-ups!  Mommy wow, I'm a big kid now.   


Wow the training message was right on target today, not a day too soon.  Body was totally dragging its feet on the way to do skips today, everything soft and lazy.  Even during the first 100, there was a little voice that told me I could still stop this whole madness.  But onward I went and the 1400 went fairly quick (for me that's about 18-20 minutes).  I even got into the zone.  

I had to rush off for a few commitments right afterward and have been running around for the past 5 hours.  I am totally wiped out.  I packed all of my food and ate my lunch piecemeal.   The marathon of food even made me a little nauseous. I am just so tired!  And I didn't even work out today.  

In the context of today's training message, I know it's just my body staging a tiny rebellion.  Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither will the Temple of Ce, so I guess I'm just going to have to not pay too much mind to these low energy days.  They are what they are, onward I go.  

Not sure if I can stay awake for my vegetable snack, might just crash after "dinner."  


Day 33

The ankle is back in action, wrapped up in an ankle support, but there she was doing the creeps and the skips today.
Thank again for the cyber support everyone!  It was really quite incredible.

Feeling strong and healthy in general.  I'm finding that I bounce back from (mental) setbacks easier and quicker.  Not just PCP challenges, although that's a big one, but setbacks in life outside of PCP.  I had something come up in my professional life that would have thrown me in for a loop of discouragement and self pity Pre-PCP.  But for some reason, I'm getting through it fairly unscathed.  Is anyone else experiencing this?  It helps that I hear Teo's voice in my head, "I ain't no snowflake, how am I going to deal with this challenge."  

I stepped on my bathroom scale for the first time in 31 days yesterday, and I lost 7 (or 9) pounds.  I initially was going to ban the scale for the entire 90 days but decided that I need to track my progress a tiny bit just to know how I'm doing.  And to kick my ass a little harder if things weren't moving along.

So losing 7-9 lbs. is awesome news.  I don't know my exact starting weight on this particular scale, but I have a rough idea hence the range.  I am now back to the weight I have been for most of my adult life (before the sudden explosion of weight in the last 18 months and not counting that period of time in my early twenties where I dropped 20 lbs in the most unhealthy manner ever.  yea, let's not talk about that).  Everything I lose from here on out will mean I'm back to my teenage weight.  Thank goodness I'll be without the teenage angst, goth clothing, and parental loathing this time.  And minus the Manic-Panic hair color.  

On one hand, I can't believe this weight loss, it's too good to be true.  On the other hand, I've been working my butt off, it's good to have some positive changes to show for it!  We've all been working super hard and the changes are coming!  Sometimes quickly, sometimes sllllooooowwly, but they will come.  

Strangely enough, the number on the scale is not as important to me anymore.  I started PCP with a very specific numeric goal in mind.  But now, I don't care if I end up there or not.  It's just a number.   I don't want to be at some arbitrary number that I came up with, a number that I thought represented something (good enough, skinny enough, pretty enough etc).  No number is ever going to mean I've arrived.  

So today, I want to look lean and healthy good.  Like this girl here, http://thepeakconditionproject.com/julyae.  I've lost some weight which is great, but when I look in the mirror, I'm not where I want to be at yet.  But that's OK, we have 57 more days to shed this nice layer of soft blubber.    

Exercises
- Leg ups are killer!!!!  I had to cut set 3 short by 8 reps, but came back strong for set 4.
- Planks are a time where I talk to God.  The last 10 seconds of each set is as Helen says, an out of body experience. God and I were very close by that 4th set.
- Chest dips, a figment of my imagination.  
- Inclined pull-ups turn my arms into jelly.
- Skips still taking me about 20 minutes.  And I'm still tripping a lot.  But the zen goes on.  

Food
-  Realized I'v been cooking/ sauteing  the s*** out of my food these last few weeks, so in effort to "enjoy the natural flavors" I've been trying to eat more steamed vegetables.  I'm sorry to report that Natural Flavors ain't as good as slightly burnt garlic and leeks in my opinion.  
- Not all apples perform equally well in a smoothie, choose wisely.
- I LOVE toast.  Rye toast, multi-gran toast, wheat toast, I love it all.  


I am not a unique snowflake.  I am not a unique snowflake.  I am not a unique snowflake.  I am not a unique snowflake.  I am not a unique snowflake.  I am not a unique snowflake.  I am not a unique snowflake.  I am not a unique snowflake.  I am not a unique snowflake.  I am not a unique snowflake.  I am not a unique snowflake.  I am not a unique snowflake.  

This has been my mantra.  When I get discouraged (which isn't that often but I do have my moments) at the lack of changes in my body (or on my face), I just repeat that over and over in my head.  

I believe in the PCP program, I believe that if I do what they suggest, I will get similar results as the ones posted by the PCPers of yesteryear.  It's that simple.  If it worked for them, it will work for me. I have a tendency to think that I have it a little harder, a little more complicated, a little more something than the next person.  But really, I don't.  I'm really not that different from the next person.  

You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else, and we are all a part of the same compost pile.- Tyler Durden

I am not a unique snowflake, PCP will work on me.   

In the mean time, I make do with my healthy glow and the still-too-tight clothes.  Even though my clothes are fitting the same-same, I do feel taller and stronger moving my body through space, and I can see a healthier glow in the mirror.  People have been commenting on this glow.  The glow cannot be denied.  

But now, that's all gone out the window a bit. I just came back from the doctors and I have a slight ankle sprain (said the doctor)!!

I have to lay off exercises for 2-3 days until the ankle heals.  He said it could drag on for weeks if I don't take care of it.  

I went in because my left foot was bothering me a bit.  I had a small twist during my skips on Saturday that didn't bother me until last night.  When it happened on Saturday, in that split moment, my PCP-days flashed before my eyes and I was so scared that I broke my ankle and I would have to quit PCP.  I sat down and took it easy for a few minutes.  The foot felt fine, maybe a little tender but fine.  So I kept on skipping.  And that was when I hit my 250 skips.  There was a light drizzle and it was very lovely.  I forgot all about my foot for all of Saturday and through Sunday exercises. 

But starting last night, the foot started talking to me.  Specifically, the ligaments stretching from top of the left ankle wrapping to the front, top of the foot.  It told me it was sore and it had limited rotational mobility.  It doesn't really look swollen to me though.  This morning the foot felt alright, again no pain or limp.  So I started skipping, no pain whatsoever.  And there were no pain during my skips, squats, or creeps. But on the walk to work, the throbbing increased.  The doctor said it's normal for the pain to be delayed but that I would need to lay off anything other than walking for a few days.  

This is such a bummer!!!  I know it's only for a few days but I was psyched to turn my legs into calorie burning machines now, and now it looks like everything will be further delayed.  I was really hoping to start seeing some changes in my body with the new training diet and ramped up exercises.  fjsidfjskld!!  

So my plan is to skip the jump rope and floor jumps and creeps for 2 days.  I will try the squats and if they're ok, doing double sets of them on day 31 and 32?  And definitely the rest of the daily workouts.  Thoughts?  

And of course now my brain is telling me, see you are a unique snowflake.       

  


Day 29

Great day!  Good energy throughout the day from morning exercises to 4 hours of Sunday night mandatory PCP steaming/ cleaning/ prepping.  

I finally shook off the tyranny of the headphones after being inspired by Helen's discussion of "meditative skipping."  And wow, I got up to 250 skips without a trip!  I'm not always at that level but it feels like my skipping has definitely improved the last couple of days without music blasting in my ears.  Thank you Helen.

I'm a little pumped about the new dinner diets, I'm so glad to get out of the kitchen!  And this is why is partially why I signed up, for the fat to melt away.  Tonight I threw the dinner in a blender and made a delicious smoothie out of it.  It was really, really, good.  Nice and Sweet and Cold.  And pretty filling.  There was a lot of it as I threw in 3 ice cubes, next time I think I can get away with just 1 or 2.  

Lower back is aching a little bit, hope I can sleep it off!  It's probably from standing up in the kitchen for so long!  I gotta get more efficient.  

Hope everyone is off to a great week 5!


Jun 8th, 2017

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