Ed Center

Ed Center

Kenzai Reach | Day 10 (Member)
Assistant Trainer

Fear in Shivasana

  • Jul 12th, 2019 at 1:23PM

I'm going through a stressful period at work. I noticed that in my shivasana for the last two days, I can't stop my monkey mind from going to dark places. I've completed the Mind program and enjoyed it - so I have a sense of mental wanderings and strategies to bring myself back to focus. But I realize that I'm actually afraid of being alone with my thoughts right now. Being calm but focusing on movement and body awareness relieves my stress, but laying alone with my thoughts and feelings feels counter-productive and dangerous right now.

I've done enough Kenzai programs to know that embracing the uncomfortable will lead to good results. So I will continue the shivasanas - laying silently, focusing on breathing, and seeing what I have to learn from this process.

 
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6 comments

Ward WillisWard WillisKenzai Blast: T-shirt Ready | Day 24 (Member)
Head Trainer5 days ago

Courageous post, friend. I've been there. You drop into a practice that is supposed to calm you and instead it makes you feel worse.

Here is what I've found helps:

1. Throwing on a progressive relaxation session that helps me release the tension I'm holding typically in my jaw, neck, and chest. My current favorite: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfIikxpis9s
2. Working with my eyes open can quiett the anxieties that have pushed and pulled me around in the past.
3. Toss on some upbeat electronica to help brighten the mood before hitting the floor: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALc1nklPj5E
4. When all else fails, ask yourself, What would Pinoe do?

Hang in, Ed.


    Jason F.Jason F.Kenzai Kettlebell | Day 38 (Member)
    4 days ago

    Or you can try this:
    https://youtu.be/O_Z0dCYa8aQ


      Scott BurnsScott BurnsKenzai Iron | Day 45 (Member)
      Trainer4 days ago

      Is valium cheating?


        Randy S.Randy S.Kenzai Reach | Day 10 (Member)
        4 days ago

        I’ll repeat the same comment you gave me, Ed: Lean in to it. You’re safe in the Shivasana pose, so let those thoughts flow right by without letting them sweep you away.


          Kit F.Kit F.
          4 days ago

          That’s very brave, Ed.
          I’ve had my shivasana ramblings take me down super dark paths that left me with answers I didn’t want to see, for better or worse. You know yourself better than most do; if sitting in the darkness is ACTUALLY dangerous — not physically, presumably, and not just scary and uncomfortable, but actually counterproductive—- then tempering that with music or other light distraction may be really important. And when it’s time to ask WHY you’re afraid, and then to jump right down the rabbit hole to chase the demons instead of fleeing them, you’ll be ready to move through it. Best wishes and good luck.


            Kim MurchKim MurchKenzai Member
            Trainer4 days ago

            Hey Ed, want to say how courageous you are to be able to stay with the feelings and blog about them with honesty. Thank you. It won’t always be this way. Sending you warm and comforting energy, my friend.


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