I have been sick with a fever for three days and have done nothing but sleep. I will try to play catch up but know I still need a little more time...can’t wait to work with all of you!!
In celebration I ate a whole basket of blueberries
Loved sitting and letting my thoughts drift away
It is kind of groovy
Day 90 GRADUATION POST
I feel so good. Thank you Kenzai.
So many people supported each other. Thank you team Ursa. You guys made all the difference through the slog of it just hearing your struggle...but what brave perseverance and tenacity you showed me. It definitely got me through my own internal war!
Patrick I could write a sonnet but will spare you. Thank you!
Looking forward to seeing you guys on the blogs soon!!
Taking a break, going on a trip, then continuing my year of Kenzai. I started with reboot in January and will continue with (+- 1 month) breaks through the year. That’s the plan, the goal, and the need for myself.
Jumped in with both feet! Cocktail, wine, scallop crudo, rich hanger steak, watercress and French fries, white chocolate bread pudding. My husband and I split everything. We figured the steak was 7 ounces and that’s two 100 gram servings. One of the best meals in memory. Woke up middle of the night fuzzy and dry- I presume from the alcohol but feel great this morning.
The hardest part of KB1 for me is battling my occasional resistance to sustain the discipline. It is the hardest because it is unpredictable when it will hit and I haven’t identified the trigger. When I trip up I feel defeated and that adds to my angst.
The easiest part is being in the zone. It takes the bulk of my energy to do the program and do it well but I really enjoy it and I don’t like doing anything half way.
I think what is easy is the flip side of the what is hardest coin.
I really don't want to write this because I think it might bring you all down but I have had more than a few days only doing the cardio and not doing the exercises and have been so down about it. I got real busy and my daughter was visiting and the next thing I knew it was like a vortex down, down, down. I finally scraped myself up and did them today and hope it is over, which is, in the end why I am writing this; sunlight is the cure. I really do want to finish strong and solidify my results. Wicked down on myself which is the worst part of it.
My favorite change is the result of weighing my grams because I feel great when I eat the right amounts. I have a quiet little hunger brewing some of the time but it just lets me know my metabolism is working as it should. There aren't big spikes or drops during the day. When I started KB it seemed kind of extreme to weigh everything. Getting what I eat right has been a lifelong battle and this change affords me self control. Emotional eating is removed when I am well satisfied.
We are less social because sharing with others that I have restrictions is a buzz kill although at this point not drinking doesn't seem to make a bit of difference to anyone. It's much more about when I eat- lunch out works well.
Being out and walking (i can't do jumprope) every day has been a gift. My dog and I have the most wonderful time every day. It's nice to have that carved into each day. After a very physical career gardening I had become quite sedentary as is my tendency when tired after less physical work I do now.
There has been a change in my attitude. I'm more agile physically and mentally. I think that makes me more engaged overall.
Yesterday after my cardio my mind went into full mule mode and revolted. I could not do my workout and had to have something unweighed and unplanned...I just had to make another choice for once over 60 days. That was so yesterday. Today I begin again, and actually feel a lot better having blown off the steam.
it feels like i just downshifted into a very low gear....slow...tough...grit and reps to failure.
feeling stronger and wrung out by the multiple hits on the same muscle groups
bring it on!!!!
end of the week
Monday always feels like starting over with full energy
other days are less clear...definitely some better than others. Probably Friday~ most tired and craving the Sunday break.
Monday I had a super busy day and yesterday, completely worn out, did not do my workout. Typical of myself I spent the day beating myself up about it. This morning I am dressed and ready to roll...so much easier to just do the workout and not torture myself. I am so mean to me!!!! I want to do Kenzai Mind and learn to disengage those negative thoughts. Is that the sort of thing KM can disengage or do I need therapy?!
There is more to do. I can see some differences in my clothes and I’m stronger but my belly fat is still ruling the day and so I’m not done. A big part of the will to keep going is the rest of you doing it too and for all of you I’m very thankful. I am very happy with the diet (crazy !?@$&) because it makes me feel good, which is good because I have to adopt it (basically) forever for my health. It’s all for my health and I am not quitting on that.
I had a real bad reaction to skipping my workout yesterday. Seems like every demon in my head came out to keep me from getting to it today...thought I worked it out in my head last night and let it go...big deal I missed a workout....went to bed and woke up with every haunt playing in my head to psych me out. Exhausting.
got through the workout today(thoughts distracting and bothering me) and will be able to cruise through the day in a happy place. Tomorrow I hope the demons will not return. They make it so much harder!!!!!
Sometimes hitting that I DID IT button at the bottom of the work out is massive. Today was one of those days.