It has been a little over a year since I finished my KB1. It has not been the smoothest journey, but I did lose 6kgs- a solid 6kgs, which I have not put on even a little bit of despite having 2-3 months of non exercise, non healthy living. Since then, I have finished a Reboot, and KB2. Kenzai has changed how I think of my body and food. I had eating disorders, and Kenzai helped me bring a balance to my eating. However, I still have not reached the goals I originally started with- WEIGHT LOSS!
I am in a transition period right now and cannot commit to a Kenzai program currently. So I will use mathematics (counting calories) and Kenzai life knowledge to hit my targets.
I am currently 88kgs. My goal is to hit 65kg- that is the weight I want to be at, and I think it will be the most aesthetically pleasing one for my frame. It is a 23kg weight loss and I do not intend to do it over the next three months- I know it will take at least a year. But for the next three months, I want to lose 10kgs.
5kg - July
I know initially I will have a huge momentum so I have set high goals in the beginning, and it will slowly taper up as I go into the programme.
I want to get into the Kenzai Life diet and exercise regime, follow the basic tenants of Kenzai and see where it takes me for the next three months.
The most important thing for me is community, so over the next week I plan on finding other people like me on the Kenzai Life community. So please do comment or reach out to me- I will really appreciate it.
I think the last three months have been just three weeks of intense fitness and then a week of me just losing direction. What this has taught me about myself is that I am not consistent. I let myself get distracted too easily !!!!
After my illness I have not bounced back yet and it is the last week of Kenzai. I am worried about myself, this lack of consistency is what is stopping me from achieving my fitness goals.
I have one more week. I will push myself. In this week, I will also reflect on how I will be, post KB2. I will focus on building a community beyond this as well, for my fitness journey for the future.
just when I've picked up with exercise and diet, and I am super motivated - illness strikes.
Been AWOL because I've been so out of it with fever and a stomach bug. Going to pick it up again from today.
I've been having a really good week so far with diet (Monday and Tuesday were great!) but I checked the scales and there was no change in how much I weighed.
I need to give my body more time obviously but this has got me down a bit.
How I usually behave when I'm down is by eating something sugary or salty. I can feel the cravings coming on, today is going to be a tough day. I also need to go to the supermarket and it's going to be difficult, avoiding the processed food aisle ! ! (The entire world is rooting for us to consume that isn't it ???)
I will push through, however. I have put in so much effort and no pack of crisps or bag of candy is worth the effort I have put into my body.
I just had a bad workout today. No matter what I just could not push through till the last set. My usual response to this is to either give up or feel so so guilty and stressed out.
I feel like I should just let it go and do better tomorrow, but where is the line between being too lenient with yourself (a.k.a move on, focus on tomorrow) and putting some stress on yourself, feeling not ok about the bad workout so you'll do better tomorrow?
I have goals, and targets. I am motivated for a bit but not sure how to sustain.
Or maybe you're not even supposed to rely on motivation and just do the workout even if you don't want to ?
Added to all this is my guilt from falling off the wagon from days 30 to 50. I keep thinking, if I hadn't done that I'd be in a better place right now. That I should have been more serious about this in the first place.
Forgive my rant, I usually keep this to myself, but that's the mistake I made between days 30-50. So I am going to share and lean on this group for support.
I love the Kenzai lessons. They are so so well timed and get you really excited.
I've been doing the mental rehearsals, without knowing, for some time now- days that I do it I am more successful than days that I don't do it.
I even do the mental rehearsal with myself. What I will say or do when I begin to negotiate with myself about exercising on a really really tough day !
Now I will focus on doing it regularly and with more detail !
I had a good last week and broke off Kenzai yesterday night and this morning. I checked my weight and I'd lost 2kgs, and I think that just gave me a reason to let go again :(
I feel really really bad, but pushing through and moving forward now.
the next week, I will aim at being 100% perfect. All workouts and getting all the grams.
Since I was off the rails for a bit in the middle, getting back to 90%-100% Kenzai is difficult. On Monday, I was super hungry at midnight and snacked. On Tuesday, work was really bad so I indulged in evening. Kept them to less than 600 calories (I didn't eat a pizza or anything cheesy or creamy- it was just fried food :/) and today it was a sorbet. Saturday night is team potluck dinner and Sunday we're going on a whole day trip. I am dreading those because it will disrupt my diet. But I will not stress on them- I will just focus on getting tomorrow perfect, and then day after, and then Saturday. For dinner on saturday I will stick to veggies and talking more than eating that day I suppose. Sunday I will pack boxes! No apologies for my commitments.
Also- with the back exercises- I was having some difficulty hitting the lats till I realised that the key is to put your weight forward on your foot- i.e lean front. I was so puzzled for a good few sets.
I am grateful for the following things:
1. My kenzai community that has supported me even though I have been very very self focused. Today is the first time I am leaving comments on a lot of blogs of Cypress. It's not great :/
2. My body, which, despite having been put through the hell of no exercise and bad food and off kenzai food, is strong enough to have completed today's challenging workout.
3. Elissa- thank you so much for just being there and talking to me over the last few days.
I caught up some lessons yesterday night- and the one that make me feel so uncomfortable was the one about dropouts. I could relate perfectly to jeff. Strong in month one, completely off the rails from day 30 till 50. I felt so stupid. Of course I should focus on the blogs more. Not just because it is proven to improve your results but for who I am as a person! I love people and being involved in their lives and journeys. It isn't even something I hate doing and I have to push myself to do it.
Today was tricky. I had no time (and no food at home!) so the first meal I ate war lunch at 12 pm. Not so good, I was so hungry and angry and tired! Lunch was kenzai compliant. After work the first thing I did was go to buy food for the week. A random co-worker stopped me and told me that I've lost weight, so that fuelled the rest of my day.
I don't know how this week will go. I am going to take it one day at a time and focus on the blogs.
the last week I kept to diet 100% and just did cardio daily. I was in a really really stressful space and I decided to take it one step at a time.
I purchased a weighing machine and I'm going to set weekly targets. Numbers should keep me motivated for the last 40 days !
It's been a while since I've blogged- I have been completely off kenzai in a wildly not ok food binge. I don't know why- work has been stressful but my motivation levels are at an all time low.
I just have really really high targets- This year I want to get to the weight I was four years ago and I need to drop 30 kilos for that. I guess it seems so impossible for me right now.
Anyway, I am slowly getting back on track.
I will commit to seriously following you guys as well and following your progress and being a support to this team!
I ate something beyond my diet yesterday - I was really, really hungry and it just seemed better to eat something rather than starve myself till I got home and cooked.
This was after almost 2 and a half weeks of perfect Kenzai diet - so i actually felt really sick after eating the food. It was oily and fried and exactly the kind of food I would have wolfed down before KB 2! I like where my body is at right now - good food makes me feel good and I'm not overeating !
workout wise, it's been two days since and I had some emergency last minute travel plans come up and couldn't pack my workout things. My next workout is going to be Tuesday :(
I will try and keep my diet extra strict till then and get some exercise whenever I can !
Day 16 and this is me squeezing in a workout after four days. I am not proud of this falling apart so quickly :/
But today was one of my best workouts! I was being a little lazy and kinda skimping on the cardio. I am the kind of person who just cannot do one thing for a prolonged period of time so today, to get my 15min in, I split the time between skipping and some basic aerobic cardio (jumping jacks and ski jumps). It was brutal but in a good, satisfying way!
can't wait for an AMAZING WEEEK!
Gosh, cannot believe it's already Day 10. I committed to blogging daily but here I am, a week between my blog posts.
Let's get into this !
The high points :
1. I missed only one workout- and I missed that one only because I was travelling all day and didn't even have time to breathe.
2. I took a dance class! I hate skipping rope. Honestly it is the worst thing ever, so on Sundays I joined a dance class. the workout is amazing ! You're just moving for around 2 hours and you don't even realize it because it's dancing and it's super fun!
3. I love the non cardio part of the workout + I created the perfect playlist to keep the rhythm and motivation.
This time around, the exercise part of easy. It is short and compact but I do need to get a routine around exercise because once the exercises get intense I'll start losing motivation. Priority number 1: set a full routine. I'll use sound cues as a start (my fave song from the playlist) and a finishing reward : a refereshing glass of freshly squeezed juice or a fruit bowl with naturally sweet fruits ! I'll do this from 8-9 daily. That is the best time for me to workout.
1. Diet : I messed up my diet. Multiple occasions, severely.
2. Diet related anxiety: Ever since I read the 80-20 thing on diet, every time I slip up on diet I get anxious and go through the emotions of anger and frustration. I look at my body in the mirror and hate it absolutely - I can only see the flaws and it's so toxic.
I want to love my body, but I don't. so I'm doing Kenzai, thinking that if I lose some weight, get into a good shape I'll love my body. It will help, I know it will. But in the meanwhile I don't think getting into this toxic mindspace about my body is good for my mental health!
It feels like a vicious cycle I can't even begin to comprehend but I always find myself here.
Do you guys feel the same? How do you deal with this?
I'm a little clueless here :/
I just finished up the Day 3 workout. The lesson today made a lot of sense to me- it's good to build up consistency and slowly build up your will power for the workouts to come.
All the endorphins from the exercise seem to be working- I am actually just much more happier, more at balance.
87 more workouts to go!
Does anyone else feel a huge mindset change when they do a workout countdown? It just suddenly feels so much more doable!