The blog police got me.
I've been reading and commenting but didn't realise I was missing my own overdue blog.
Finally I think I'm seeing a very slight physical change.. my upper back has a couple of ripples that I'm loving. My face does look leaner. I've lost a kilo from my start weight according to the scale (I know I know but given how tight my jeans are still, I had to go somewhere else).
On the invisible side, I feel improvement in my skipping and ability to do most of the exercises better and better.
I am still hugely disappointed in the lack or rather the smallness of physical changes but I know I'm getting some unexpected good benefits from it too so can't complain.
Sleep is still an issue, I don't see that changing anytime soon. I've decided to stop chasing it or making it a big deal because that was stressing me even more. I'm feeling better than I used to despite that because I feel I can accept a few inevitable things like it "as it is"..
About my social life, I'm reclusive more than ever. So I go if I'm asked and really want to meet the collecting people. A couple of times I've just asked friends to go to breakfast so I can eat a Kompliant meal and sip on a luxury coffee.
But this time round it's been harder to just watch and talk and not eat or drink so I avoid going out as much as possible.
Spending 4 hours one evening with friends while they drank beers and then sitting across them while they gobbled down wontons and dimsums was my nightmare on Friday.
Having patted myself here for having been good isn't quite as clean as you'd think. I slipped.
I had two small cheats, both self indulged alone after having spent a few socially intense evenings where I successfully stayed on track.
One I passed by the cakery on my way out from work and saw they had "healthy" vegan mooncake and I couldn't resist. The cold and creamy lil dessert had mango, ginger, turmeric, nut pastes and a couple of other superfoods. Very dense and very satisfying. I didn't even halt to take a picture.
Second was me craving some smacking flavorslap, I was in a dark place on Saturday with the boredom of Kenzai diet and life, a horrible mistake from my vegetable vendor (which they've corrected today) and couldn't be bothered to cook or think of a Kompliant substitute so I ordered a tom yum soup from pop vegan and ate it with rice smeared with chilli oil. For dinner.
It wasn't big portion or horrifically out of line be side the soup came loaded with vegetables but it had an alarming level of fat (coconut cream) and salt. My tummy wasn't happy after but I felt so SANE after eating it.
Am still going well on the diet otherwise nailing my portions, was super happy to see breakfast carb is back. Workouts are still irregular but improving steadily.
It was an eventful week that blurred by and I got pinged by the blog police today.
I had a work event mid week which is a fun bowling "tournament" we organise for our counterparties every year. Despite all the gutters I was swinging, I felt my hips and glutes and back were in good sync.
That same day our pug passed away unexpectedly back home in Bombay, it is was heartbreaking and my mom and sister who are there were inconsolable. I flew out to spend the weekend with them.
Needless to say my workouts have been non-existent. I couldn't concentrate on Thursday so I quit in my third set of skipping and went up home to pack for the next days flight.
I have been spot-on my diet except for the arrival this AM, as had not packed or prepared for breakfast, heck I just saw my changed diet at lunch time. So I've missed a couple of meals in my travel but not eaten anything out of bounds.
The more I think about it, the more I'm surprised..
Diet, I find weekends especially Sundays harder because I sleep in and start my mornings later. So usually by the time 7 pm rolls in, and I'm packing food prepped for the week, I haven't had dinner yet and that is hard to try fit in followed by the last veggie snack. Routines on weekends are more flexible and relaxed but I fail on keeping meal times.
Workouts, easier to say which are easy days. I am always set for Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Thursday. Latter two because my trainer is knocking on my door at 8 pm and I can't bunk it.
The other days are a hit and miss even now. I'd like to tighten it up.
I wanted at least 5 different things for my indulgence. So I made it happen.
Wine from M&S
Peanut chilli sauce dumplings and Kung Pao water chestnuts from a Sichuan restaurant
Chilli oil dumplings from a Japanese fast food restaurant
Spring rolls and pineapple fried rice from a Thai restaurant
My friends indulged me and came over and we spent the afternoon on this beautiful spread.. I absolutely enjoyed it.
Only, I felt like it stretched over a couple of mealtimes and I drank half a bottle and felt my head spinning.
Eventually I stepped out and took a long walk but it's hot and humid and heavily polluted in Hong Kong especially by the promenade today.
I feel dehydrated.
As you've read before in my blogs. I'm not seeing any improvements. I sure feel better and stronger, I also know my personal trainer has helped me strengthen some inherent muscles and I can skip and do the creep without spasms because of his 6 months of persistence.
And I had a similar situation in my last KB in 2015 when I showed no improvement, had worse blues and dark moods from exercise..
I feel the same this time: that if 5 weeks of clean eating, daily (well, in my case here almost daily) exercise, discipline isn't working yet, I NEED this even more than I believed to earlier.
1. I want to run a full marathon by early 2021, injury free and at my fittest possible self.
2. I don't want to wistfully wish and sadden myself when I don't see what I want in the mirror in a few months.
And this is the most sustainable way to get to my two goals above that I know of. Especially now that KB supports plant based diet.
With all my venting and moaning last week, I think the universe had bigger plans..
Firstly, a friend asked me to join a 21 day abundance project which requires daily meditation and a small task.
I've learned not to refuse these things until I've made a real effort to try them.
And it's been fabulous. Has also fixed my bedtime and sleep issues.
Two events came up this week that I chose to participate in that took away my evenings fully.
One was a charity walk with ImpactHK that distributes food and essentials to the homeless in lesser popular neighborhoods. It was an expanding evening for me. Lot of love.
Another was for helping out with office celebration for the Indian Independence day catering, group of Indians at work decided to order samosas for the floor I stupidly volunteered to bring jal-jeera and nimbu paani for 100 colleagues. Stupid because I usually make what I make, from scratch. Noway am I going to serve Indian lemonade from a bottle of concentrate or the spicy tangy drink from a sachet.
It's simple and yet I took 5 hours to shop, clean fresh mint leaves, mix the right ingredients, squeeze 30 lemons and package it all in a transportable manner to take to work on Thursday morning. I promise you it was 3 workouts worth of effort ;)
Plus I had one pre-planned evening with a friend (we shared a big bottle of soda water) and by Friday evening I had bunked 3 workouts in a row.
Finally when I went down today fearing a dreadful skipping session, surprisingly I skipped much better and in sets of 100, finished sooner than I have before. That felt GREAT! So maybe I did need that break and rest last night.
I'm 100% on my diet with having switched my last meal/snack to watermelon for silly reasons.
Picture of the colossal - when life gives you lemons..
For question of the week, where do I begin?!
Well for starters I'm fed up of the stubborn flub that won't go away or even reduce a bit yet.
Then I miss eating out, like a lot! So I'm getting fed up of staying diet Kompliant.
I'm that person who will text friends and get them interested in a new cuisine or restaurant and plan and book an evening or brunch out, like at least twice a week. You can count on me to take you on a food tour in Hong Kong in my spare time. This downtime is quite frustrating.
I went for a massage today and I think the masseuse broke down any muscles I might have built instead of the knots, lol.
Had a long and hot afternoon walk with dearest Kim M which was a refreshing outing tho I think we both melted away in the sun, she gifted the best bread ever and I replenished some much needed Vitamin D :)
Finally caved in and made okra today, it's little oil but I relied on moisture from tomatoes mostly and zero salt..
I couldn't stop. I got a tub of fries and garlicnaise and stuffed my face. It's sitting like lead in my diaphragm now.
It's the middle of the week and I'm running outta veggies..
So I stir fried some rainbow veggies.. and then steamed some kailan..
I have 4 big zits/boils/pimples on my face.
They are the kinds that fester and take a few days and look horrendous and hurt.
Haven't had these in years and now they are cropping up like I'm a hormonal teenager.
And I hate the workouts, the want to crawl instead of creep, under the bench in the gym and fall asleep.
I can't get enough sleep, not can I wake up earlier.
Oh and in case I haven't mentioned it, I feel no physical improvements in appearance.
Sorry for the vent, right now I just feel like there's no upside or silver lining or hope.
I cooked all afternoon. And made nutmilk. I'm tired. I don't want to workout, had done my skips this morning (TFG)! Have just taken a shower, am in my jammies and should fall asleep before the clock strikes 9 pm.
Think my real indulgence is missing this one workout.
It's an even scale.
On one hand I have wonderful friends who work around my program and plan things that won't stress me out or make me fail. My part in it is to request and stay Kompliant.
On the other hand, there are two negatives, both mostly attributable to my own nature I think.
1. I feel 0 motivation to go out, hang out, network, show up etc. I'll do it for what matters but not for somebody's need of killing time or flakiness. Which makes me rude and short (on temper and patience).
I'm barely getting the 7 hours of sleep I need, am dragging myself to workout, I know my priorities and that makes me less amiable.
2. I'm a big procrastinator. So obviously I've had a pile of things that I haven't done (some paperwork, organising my finances and notes, taking time off for some me time from work, taxes, a bit of self development work etc). This means it's always playing on the back of my mind.
Even when I'm socialising and with close friends.
And now I can't see myself doing any of it for the foreseeable future and it's making me feel real low.
I am at peace with prioritizing my cookouts and workouts, just wish I could see the results in my body tho, nothing yet.
I was supposed to meet a friend for breakfast. The restaurant we were to serves a tofu scramble that is Kompliant so I didn't prep (and come-on, it's Saturday morning, I don't want to cook and washup again).
Long story short, he bailed so I went to another coffee shop nearby to sort out my meal cos I was famished.
The hummus, rocket, avocado rye toast with a big side salad of greens sounds pretty good right? Well they doused it with evoo on the toast half.. and grated extra sea salt on it.
I was so hungry I didn't notice till a few bites in. And continued eating to calm the cats down in my belly.
Came home and felt sick cos of the OD of oil and salt. What happened! I used to eat here (this exact dish) almost every weekend.
Since this is already a lot of things not to be eaten on diet, I'm guessing I've "indulged"!!!
And this isn't what I'd have picked for indulgence.
A chocolate cake or a glass of wine were my last two choices, snifle snifle.
Body is super tired today, I slept again for 3 hours right after I came back.
Oh, those banana, apple dinners are here already.
Looking at the floorjumps demo alone makes me want to throw up, Is there any other modified exercise I could do instead? My lower back and knees cannot handle the impact of those rabbit leaps.