Today was a great day.. I went to get a treadmill but then I decided that I will just save that money and run continue running outdoor.
I am about to creat a running group at my work, and focusing on a mentoring project that right now I am running as a pilot project between my friends. This is a good time and running is part of it.
I still have not decided what I prefer the most running outdoor or indoor?! I started early work and come home late, and thinking on getting treadmill to the house but they are so expensive:)) im thinking maybe to get a second hand so I will do the research and I will update you soon with what I have found, in case you are interested too.
Still amaze how our body works. Few days of eating well and I feel great already. I missed few days of exercise but.. Full power starting from tomorrow to the finish line 😎🤘🏻
Hello everyone, I am so happy to start this running program with you.
Two months of good sweat 😅. Let's do it 🤘🏻
Well.. what I learned in this program is that I have so much more to learn. But.. how amazing was the learning by just being still and quiet. I am from those who always move and like to learn and learn and learn and I always feel like there is more to learn, but.. the Mind gave me this sense of “I am enough” “exactly as I am, and without any more learning.” And this is the most significant gift I could ever impart to myself. So. For my 33 birthday in Dec.2019, I hope to meditate more and be able to think calmly in any situation. I also want to work on my fears and be a better person, who feels that her needs were met and she is ready to give endlessly to the universe.
Thanks Cece for this journey!! You are the person who brought me to the Kenzai community and I will be always grateful for that. Love you♥️.
Thanks to 36 days of meditation, which most of them I have completed, but was not so good in marking them, or reading the lessons on each day, I have few things I have noticed that happened to me:
(1) first and former, I am much more calm and less emotional. During the day, when I read the news, or comforting a freind who needed to talk, I do not absorb the pain into me, as I was use to do. When I was younger, I remember that I said on myself that “I feel like a sponge that takes everything in”, all others problems in.
Few years ago I learned that my friends do not need my understanding or my pain but my listening, and I tried to be less involved, but the “over-sensitivity” I always interpreted as “this is me” kind of a thing. Well.. not any more:))
(2) Second, I love my body. I gained some wight, since the last running competition I participated in, and, I am really okay with it. Actually, I think I prefer the strong, healthy look than the skinny-bonny one:)).
(3) I am starting trusting my abilities, the things I know and the things I do not know. I feel comfortable than ever to admit that “I fo not know”, or “cannot preform it”, and how amazingly that leads to so many good things. For example today I had a meeting with my boss and coworker at work, and I mentioned that I would be happy to assist in one of the assignments we had, but I said (confidently!) that I never have done this kind of work, and therefore, unfortunately, won’t be able to provide much of assistance.
* in the world before the meditation- once I would have said this, my mind was going into that hole of “Im not good enough”, “I wish I could help”, “I am so embarrassed”, “now they would think that Im stupid”.
** but in the new world of meditation- my mind goes to “okay.. now you do not know.. what you can do to learn”, “okay.. you never had that experience, how you can find the time, and what are the actions you can take to get the new skills”.. and the big big accomplishment is: “from whom I can get help?” Without feeling embarrassed to ask and to admit that I do not know.
So the result of today’s meeting— was when I said to other coworker that I would be happy to learn it, and if we can find some time to go over it together.
Yesterday’s meditation was great. 16mins of relaxing and fulfilling meditation. I also worked out for an hour, and going on track with my running. I also tries to cut the sweets and eat clean as possible.
It’s amazing that only now, I met my “Ted”. This morning I was shutting him/her up when bad thoughts came into my head.
Yesterday, I also felt after the meditation, and when I was talking with a freind after some issues that I am starting to be able to address pain and talk about tough matters without feeling the pain itself.
I like the feeling of changing.. and the ability the reflect the process..
Well.. easy it’s not meditating everyday:)) but I do enjoy it. And it makes me calmer. I do not exercise much but I try to eat clean food and keep the diet as much as possible.
*and the below is a photo of Bde Maka Ska, is the largest lake in Minneapolis, Minnesota, and a beautiful place to relax and enjoy the moment.
I’m writing almost every day in my new diary. I meditate every day since last week. I do not do the exercises now but I cycling almost every second day for 20 mins twice a day. I do see the difference. I am starting to get stronger. And, I like it.
Step by step..
I know I have long way to go.. but at least.. I feel strong and healthy and motivated to continue walking.. or sit still.
Today’s meditation was much smoother and more natural than yesterday. Yesterday’s meditation felt a bit like a struggle. I was sitting on the floor and moved several times; my thoughts were moving around and back and forth. And today, after reading the Today’s Lesson, it was easy to understand what I am trying to achieve and to get some understanding about a concrete action (or no action:) I should take when my thoughts are starting to spin.
I think.. I know where we are going...:))) lol.. is it, megalomaniac, to say/feel. I think we are going into a place that will allow me to hear, feel, and sense my surroundings more objectively.. a place of strength that will allow me to keep my core strong without letting anything (and anyone, including myself) to harm, chance, manipulate this core. And then my reaction to the world will be the pure/ ”right” to each time and situation.
So if you asked.. Yes, I'm enjoying the ride of cleaning myself from all the brainwash I received in 33 years of living and consuming 🦋.
I can’t believe I did it 🤭. My first Half in San Francisco. Omg!! That was so much fun!!!!
(1) I took all the recommendations, tips from our lessons (2) I was focusing on my breath and the posture and time just flew (3) I could listening to my music, which was great (4) and now I have some pain in the labrum and lower back. I also feel my kneecap 😏.
But, I am happy. I took warm salt bath and expecting to rest for few days.
I cannot believe I did it. I loveeee running and it was an amazing experience. Cannot wait to go back for my next run 😉✌🏻.
Well.. one mission accomplished, I moved to my new place 🏡. Actually, two missions are done ✅, I left my old job as well:)). Now, for this upcoming week, all I have in mind is running🏃♀️, settling down 🧘🏻♀️, and getting ready for my first Half run (07/28)🤞🏻, and new job (02/29)📝 :)). Yaaaaaas 😉.
Well.. I was not here much, but my head was busy on how I am taking myself back into running. There are so many reason why not to run, and I learned them all:)). I also learned about myself that my rational is my closest friend and enemy:)). I learned that I want to be a morning person but it’s really not for me. Not because of laziness (that sometimes is the reason), but mostly because my lifestyle makes it really heard on keeping up with early mornings.
I am starting new job soon, 07/29. I am getting divorce, 07/31, and I am moving into a new house, 07/20. The running program that started in April, helped me a lot to keep my head straight on what’s important. I also started Kenzai body in Jan-2019, and ohh boy the things I learned about myself and my body.
But I think it’s the inner-strength that keeps me going and pushing hard. When I stick to my diet I am calmer, more positive, and overall just a better person. I was tend to think that my drinks, and crazy night of alcohol and parties make me a ppl person, but this is all b$&@. It is the inner-peace that makes you a ppl person. And, I found it.
I lost my diet, and I haven’t trained for almost a month regularly. But.. I am here. Still here.
I remember in Jan,2019 when I started Kenzai body I was so much in pain. And, every morning I was thinking about my dream job, my new life, free of everything that sat on my heart.
And that came..:))
Now.. after all of this chaos.. I am so happy to go back again to my routine. Happy. And, healthy. And with or without others, and relationships, honestly this is the only thing that matters. Our body and mind.
* so this is me, yesterday:)) with my friend’s dog 🐶.